We met through the internet- forums and social media - three women whose lives crossed over and connected in almost bizarre ways. Two of us parents, two of us living in Australia, two of us met on a weight-loss website, all of us connected over music and literature, (but not necessarily the same music), two of us over our living/having lived in the same town, two of us loved to share recipes and cooking tips, two of us met through the third person. We all shared our love of an AFL football team, the Geelong Cats, to be exact. And a mutual recognition that we three were attracted to each others minds and personalities and intellects. With that mutual attraction comes a respect for each one, we don't crowd nor demand of each other anything we wouldn't want to expect of ourselves. We're all different, with different dreams and aspirations, but all three are ready to embark on an adventure of fun and friendship.
We have recently enjoyed a road-trip together and not only survived but thrived on a week of intense time living, travelling and sharing a tiny car, and sometimes a tiny living space. Secrets were divulged, passions shared and tears shed, midst much laughter and silliness. There was an agenda to this trip, and we shared the mission, although it only one of us who was directly involved. It didn't matter- we became a holy trinity of sorts, and all lived through the odyssey.
There are nearly two decades in age between myself and the youngest of us, but I truly believe Mel and I are soul sisters, having lived parallel lives. Kirrily fits in the middle of us in age, and her warmth, knowledge and breadth of experience meshes us all. Her sense of humour and innate intelligence magnetises Mel and I towards her. Inexplicably we gel as a threesome, and yet enjoy a relative freedom of individuality as well. We seem to know how to flow together, all on our slightly different levels of energy and on our respective trajectories of personal growth.
Why does this work so well?
How come friendship groups I have been in before this have been more hard work, less fun, and ultimately not as successful?
On my part- something I am not necessarily proud of, but I am aware that I am not an easy person to get to know, nor to be a friend to.
I've had hits and misses with people over the years. But some of my most enduring friendships are those that have happily puddled on the surface of life, and haven't had to get too nitty or gritty.
Not to dismiss these sometimes very comforting friendships as meaningless at all, but I know that I still crave that depth with people and very seldom feel sated, even after lots of social activity.
I have on and off through the years had some intense bursts of passionate liaison with people I thought I might be able to connect with on that heart to heart level. But there were gaps between us in our thinking, in our ability to listen uncritically, to trust, and most importantly our values were somehow misaligned. Maybe the timing wasn't there, or we were heading in different directions, and we eventually mutually went towards our own paths.
So how come I can have so much fun with people now- where once I found it difficult to be intimate with people, especially people I caved to be near?
Perhaps some tough experiences have not necessarily made me tougher, but have made me slower to judge, less ready to take offence. More open and willing to learn from my soul sisters, without doubting who I am and what I believe.
Perhaps I will one day be the friend I always wanted to have, myself.
Meanwhile I love that I am accepted as I am, quite the warty, imperfect thing that I am.
As for my lovely friends, I love that they are the wonderful, accepting and open people they are, and am grateful for the colour they bring to my life. I adore both of them and respect that they are strong, outspoken and full of integrity.
Oh- and the boots?
My surplus of boots on our recent trip became a great asset to us all, as we were able to mix and match outfits and go out on the town feeling quite the hotties that we are...
So we are permanently sharing them now.
The sisterhood that began with a wheel of delicious StAgur cheese we shared over Margaritas last summer, ie the "SaintAgur Sisterhood" has now become a "Sisterhood of the Travelling Boots", and who know what the next incarnation will be?
:') :DDDD
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