Ok, it's a 'borrowed' and adulterated title, but it means what I mean it to-
I am the world's, no, the universe's worst procrastinator, and not only am I always avoiding the inevitability of situations, even good ones, but I seem to have 2, even 3 voices arguing about the pros and cons of doing just about anything.
Having said that, here I am blogging- after having a couple of weeks worth of arguing about that, but hey, I'm doing it, and good for me...
Ok, today's topic is, well it was was going to be about 7 things, over the last week, but those late night musings that don't make it out of bed in that inspired moment are now, sadly... gone forever...
Let's just review the last month of exams and essays and revelations about life then...hang on, I'll put on some washing while I do that...
Ok, it was a time, as it always seems to be, when I had to dig deep to find my inner strength, faith and fortitude... this time as I farewelled my eldest on his first foray overseas for a month, tackled numerous small and large assignments, confronted health issues, worked on the slow mending of the broken bridges with the youngest, quelled the screams of self-doubt self-loathing and even self aggrandisement in the midst of it all. I rediscovered my ego, my untapped desire for recognition and applause, as I received the rewards (in good marks), of delving into the subjects of Radical Freedom and Sartrean concepts of the self, and then the broader but equally compelling ideas of Foucault, in his challenging us to remain aware of our own power in the inevitable dependent state we exist in, in a world of bureaucratic systems of control.
The history I studied of the beginnings of Victoria, my home state, the place where I was born, brought home to me the sad sad truths about the violence in the patriarchal power-plays between the colonialists and the Kulin in the first century of colonial settlement, and made me profoundly ashamed. I cannot ever forget William Barak and his leadership of the people of the Coranderrk Reserve, which lasted through the shameful times of the Aboriginal Protection Board, and the despicable way that Barak and his people were treated by them.
All this knowledge makes me a heady, intense and sad woman, and so it is good to stop.
Good to visit the youngest, and sit at her local, drinking cider and enjoy she, her dad and I teasing each other over fish and chips;
Good to welcome back the traveller, and feast on slow cooked lamb and wine with him, and laugh with him and his lovely girlfriend.
Lovely to plan the prospect of a small journey to the holiday house, to go to movies, watch TV, read, and potter about in my garden,
to enjoy 2 or 3 hour conversations on the phone just catching up with people, or sitting in a cafe or pub just eating, talking, and chilling with friends.
I wonder if I can get through the rest of my degree without the roller-coaster ride of self-discovery being quite so dramatic, but I know I can't possibly.
And I look forward to the prospect of life beyond the degree, in 5 subjects' time...
